Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Clown Porn: The Circus is Cuming to Town!

You know what they say about men with big feet, is the same true of clowns? Well, just the other day this disturbing conundrum was forced into my psyche by one of my loyal and well meaning blog readers. This led me teetering down an upsetting path of discovery of just how bizarre human sexual fetishes can be. I never knew it existed and now that I do, I am more afraid of clowns than ever before!
I have written about strange sexual fetishes before: Golden showers, Belgium Chocolate, S&M, Scarfing, Furring, Fisting, to mention but a few. They are weird, unhygienic, could be dangerous and attracts a selected few individuals who just can’t get aroused or shoot their load if they’re not being peed on, defecated on, strangled, whipped or chained. But now Bozo the Clown seems to have stepped out of the Circus Ring and into the Porn Studio where he has swapped squirting water into people’s faces to squirting bodily fluids from things other than fake flowers.

Yes it’s true! There is such a thing as Clown Porn as I wincingly discovered. You see after receiving an e-mail from one of my readers I decided to go to Google. I changed my search setting from "vanilla" to "hardcore", went to image search, typed in “Clown Porn” and pressed enter. What appeared on my screen was more unsettling than the movie IT by Stephen King. Bozo the clown, Coco, Scruffy and others lost their innocence and were doing nasty things, sexual things and things clowns really should not be seen doing or be seen having done to them.
Personally, I have never liked clowns, they freak me out and I am scared to death of them! I have always thought there was something macabre and evil about clowns and now I am certain. After all you never quite really know what the person behind the makeup looks like, what true feelings or urges they are masking behind their silly acts and what their true motives are behind those chilling laughs. I have never trusted clowns and not in my wildest imagination (and it gets pretty wild sometimes) did I think off clowns as ever being sexual or God forbid – SEXY!

But, evidently there are people who do see clowns as sexual objects and are aroused by them. There are people with twisted circus erotic fantasies and people who want to do unspeakable things to Bozo the clown and have him do unmentionable things to them. Maybe they enjoyed the circus a little too much as children. Maybe instead of reading Playboy or Playgirl they got off by watching clowns perform and misguidedly misinterpreted it as burlesque shows. It is wrong and twisted on so many levels that I can’t even begin to fathom it!
I take solace in the fact that this clown fetish phenomenon is currently largely a niche and heterosexual thing. However, I suspect it’s not long before a Gay Clown Porn movie is made. I for one most certainly would not have any interest, whatsoever, to watch it, as I would have nightmares for months. I can’t even imagine what the story line and setting of such a queer film would be. The circus seems too obvious and a children’s party would just be wrong and not to mention illegal. Would Bozo venture into plumbing, mechanics, the army, a sexy camping trip or be kidnapped by sexy Amazon men? Or would poor old Bozo be lost in the streets looking for his circus tent and then be sexually exploited by a bunch of street thugs? Who knows, the possibilities are endless.

As disturbing as this is to me, I wonder how the clown community feels about this. Are they livid and disgusted too? Having almost been blinded and made nauseous by my Google Image search, I proceeded to do a normal Internet search on Clown Porn, for the purpose of being thorough. There actually is a website called “Stop Clown Porn Now”. Naively I visited their website, thinking the creator(s) would have been just as appalled as I was. But, on closer inspection, their website was nothing more than a Clown Porn Directory disguised as something else. Clearly Clown Porn freaks have a twisted sense of humour, is shrewd and this led me to my next puzzling question.
How do you know if your lover is a Clown Porn Freak? In all probability the first tell tale sign would be if he gets super excited when he hears the circus is coming to town, then when at the circus he pitches his own tent in his pants when the clowns enters the ring. Your suspicion should also be roused when the circus programs with Bozo’s face on it have not been discarded weeks after the circus have left, and have now became all wrinkly and sticky. You should really be worried when you lover comes home in November with two clown costumes with accompanied clown paraphernalia, and when asked about the odd purchase he tells you it’s for Halloween. Finally, all suspicion should be gone the night he enters your bedroom dressed as the clown Funking Frankie and then enters you calling you his bitch Coco!

When it comes to sex the human race is a Pandora’s Box of the strange and bizarre. All people have their own flavours and preferences, whether it’s silk or leather, cowboy or clown. Whatever you are into you will find pornography that depicts your every fantasy, twisted as they may be. Today I learned something new and this I know for certain – when the circus is coming to town I’ll be running away screaming from the clown!

Till next time.

The Black Party: Fetish

7 comments:

Clueless said...

Sorry that I haven't been around lately. I too have always been scared of clowns. Seems like many people do as well. A clown fetish? I guess nothing surprises me anymore...not that I like hearing about it...yuck!!! Run.....

be well,

CC

Oh, by the way have you taken a look at my blog for October. It is GLBT History Month so almost all of my post are dedicated to this month. You might want to take a look...I borrowed some of your stuff...:-) You Blogger update doesn't seem to register my most current items...Blogger problem that I've seen else where.

Just Say NO to Clowns!!

Pierre said...

Clueless, I guess after reading this some people will have certain apprehensions about booking a clown for their kids birthday parties, and rightly so!

PS:
Blogger have been giving me some problems lately, I shall send them an e-mail rant about it!

darkhalf said...

I thought I had heard of everything but apparently not! This is funny and disturbing at the same time. But I'm with you, clowns are indeed sinister. Thanks for posting a picture of Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's "It" .. that damn clown gave me nightmares for weeks .. and I still don't go near storm drains in case I hear a rasping voice say, "We all float down here!" (It's going to be a long night for me!)

Pierre said...

darkhalf, I think Pennywise still haunts many people as does the real live clown killer John Wayne Gacy! Gacy is the ultimate example of what true evil that can lurk behind the face of a clown!!!

Hadyn Thomas said...

Oh Pierre, thank for this. Your writing does make me laugh out loud. Just one example of many, 'then when at the circus he pitches his own tent in his pants when the clowns enters the ring'.

I was freaked out by learning this today. I had never even heard of Clown Porn until you shared it with us.

Clowns have scared me ever since I was a boy. Like you, I am uncomfortable with the possibility of what may lie beneath. There is something sinister about clowns. I certainly cannot understand the sexy part at all.

When the circus comes to town, I will be joining you in the running away screaming.

I am surprised you did not have to pluck your eyes out after doing your Clown Porn search.

Hx

Ciel said...

Ugh, talk about nasty. Although...I can't say any of my fetishes aren't weird. I mean, come on! Black tailcoats and white gloves? I have a thing for like, young butlers or something....odd!

Pierre said...

Hadyn Thomas & Ciel , this just goes to show that we live in a weird & wonderful world!

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