Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear Facebook why don't you love me no more?

Dear Facebook

It’s with great heart ache that I discovered last night in all your cyber wisdom you decided to disable my account. This is now the 3rd time you wanted to break up with me. The 3rd time you refuse to talk to me or explain why.

Why don’t you love me anymore? Did I not love you enough? Did I not spend enough time with you; introduce you to enough of my friends? Did I not link to you enough in my blog posts? WHY…. OH Why…. why…. why…

How am I supposed to maintain my elaborate Gay Terrorist Network without my Facebook profile? How am I supposed to mobilize the masses to convert the unsuspecting public into homosexual loving freaks? How am I supposed to go about my daily cyber life without your blue screen minimized on my electronic life portal? How am I supposed to know when my friends birthdays are, what events I am supposed to go to or check the weather forecast in the morning before I go to work? Facebook, how will I know what my friends are doing, see their embarrassing drunken photos or be notified of their relationship statuses? The cruelty of your break-up leaves me feeling sad & alone. My bandwidth empty…

Yes it’s true, I admit I have been poked by many people and I admit, sometimes I poked back and enjoyed it. This put aside, I have always been a loyal friend. I always accepted friend request only from people with real profile pictures up to the point of almost reaching your 5000 limit – a limit you say is there for my own protection. Is it my fault my superior brain and startling good looks attracts people I don’t even know to my profile. Facebook, please don’t discriminate against me or be angry because I am a Gorgeous Gay Genius. If my popularity is the problem and too many people comment on my status alerts or add me as a friend - I am sorry! Don’t hate me because I am popular!

Facebook without you I am lost; a ship without sails adrift in a vast ocean of unfamiliar social networking platforms some of which I have forgotten my password. The Internet seems dull without you as I surf the Net directionless with a morbid apathy. Facebook you are always in the back of my mind - you are still my homepage! As I wipe away the tears from my now colourless cheeks, and blow my regret into my drenched tissue the ache for your return overwhelms me.

We have been through so much together. Facebook, do you remember all the good times we had? The late nights playing scrabble, all the laughs we had watching funny videos, you tagging me in albums and all the witty banter on my Blog Fan Page. Do you remember that time just after I started my first group how excited we were when we reached our first 1000 member mile stone? Good times… Happier times…

Facebook I don’t know what went wrong and please don’t come with that “It’s not you it’s my Terms of Service” crap. If you have found some other user more APPEALING, then…ah… (...this is hard...) JUST TELL ME! I probably will not understand but I will reply cordially with an annoyed toned e-mail.

Facebook, I hope we can work things out. I would hate for us to part ways like this. So many unresolved issues, so much heart aches. Are we really going to through our 2 year relationship away like yesterday's trash!?! Did I mean nothing to you? Dare I ask... am I yesterday's trash??? I guess I was but 1 of 200 million, a number, an e-mail, a password to you...

I miss you Facebook and I know you will miss me too, please take me back.

With all my Love!
Pierre


Facebook Manners And You

16 comments:

Benjamin said...

Since I am now on my 3rd attempt on FB, I would love to see their comments - fab dear FB Letter!!!

Gerrie Ackermann said...

Dear Pierre

If you would like an answer from facebook, surely you wouldn't mind giving an answer first, and an honest one please.
Why did you wipe me out from your friends list on fb? for no apparent reason.

Regards,
Gerrie Ackermann

Pierre said...

Benjamin, this letter is very tongue in cheek, but I do find it annoying that they again disabled my account. Instead of getting angry I decided to take the light hearted approach. We'll see if they respond to my letter, and I will love to see what they say.

Pierre said...

Gerrie, I don't know what answer you are looking for. What type of answer would you like?

If I were Facebook I would respond by saying:

"Gerrie,

The lack of frequent interaction constitute that the cyber friendship was fake. In the absence of proving proof of a real friendship and/or physical interaction the connection has been terminated, thank you for understanding.

Regards,

Pierre
Fake Facebook Accounts Consultant"

kathy harper said...

missing u already my friend!!!!

Pierre said...

Thanks Kathy, hopefully the "electronic friendship generator" will allow me back someday!

Austin said...

Facebook sometimes behave like a dictatorship and the users have very few rights it seems. I miss you already on FB and I have sent them a couple of e-mails asking for them to reinstate your account, let's hope they do so soon!!

This is one of the things that you can expect being a gay blogger & being public, you will make some enemies. There are lots of homophobes out there that would want to make your life difficult. That's why I think your account was reported by one of these people to silence you on FB.

Keep up the good fight, we are many that support you. Don't let ignorant people silence you.

Pierre said...

Thanks Austin,

You make a good point - maybe I should have blogged under an alias like most bloggers. But, I am proud of being gay, who I am and if a few homophobic people doesn't like it though.

My blog is not political (maybe politically incorrect at times), and is meant to entertain and every now & again to make people think.

I will not stop my blog so don't despair. I enjoy the fact that my blog can bring a smile to the faces of my regular readers and bring "delight" to their sometimes "dreary" day.

PS: Thanks for all the e-mails of support, I really do appreciate it!

TJ said...

I am sure it's that group to remove homophobic and hate speech groups on fb that caused this. One of the freak who created one of the groups you guys reported decided to be nasty and reported you out of spite!

Blake said...

Facebook is fucked up go to MySpace!!!

Pierre said...

I don't wanna move to MySpace, I want my Facebook account back! (falls onto the floor and throws a hissy fit)

Sam said...

Pierre I enjoyed your letter to facebook. Many things you said are very true! Funny how reliant we become on the silly websites.

Disabeling your account is just whacked!!! Facebook needs to wake up, if they keep on doing what they are doing to you, people will drop them like they did some of the other networking sites. At the end of the day money talks and if money is more important to fb than users they will be replaced like so many other websites.

Pierre said...

Thanks to all of those who have sent e-mails on my behalf to Facebook to reinstate my account!

Those who still want to help please help by sending an e-mail to

disabled@facebook.com
appeals@facebook.com &
info@facebook.com

asking them to reinstate my account - Pierre Le Roux (paleroux_jnr@telkomsa.net).

Anonymous said...

Dear Pierre

Is there some media ombudsman in Zuid Afrika which you could make a complaint about Facebook infringing on your freedom of speech. By reporting civil liberties violations to the regulatory body in you nation, pressure can be brought to bear on Facebook. Its time to show aggressive organisations on the internet whom violate peoples privacy, restrict their freedom of expression or thought that they are not above the laws of our nations.

Best of luck.

Love

Darren

Pierre said...

Hi Darren, thanks for the advice I will follow this up.

Pierre said...

Finally I am back on facebook! Don't know whether this letter helped, but I am back!!

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